Dr. Lizard Reveals Son is Returning from Rehab/Jail. Now what?

Thoughts from a Lizard Doctor Who Cares (director of a city health department in the U.S.A.)
It is important to establish control for the well-being of your family unit

Of course, these are established rules to a greater or lesser extent which are assumed and not written.
However with a return or continuation of an addict in the house, it may become necessary to clarify, establish and / or enforce those (once assumed and not written) issues.  Parent(s) feel essential in maintaining family integrity.
The following are common sense rules to consider:

• Curfew to be in home
• A quiet atmosphere to be maintained
• Consideration and respect for mealtime
• Shared chores in maintaining the home
• Discussion and understanding of home expenses
• Use of random drug screening if appropriate to situation
• Maintain control of who is permitted in your home setting
• Insist that addict attend at least (3) three 12 Step Recovery Meetings a week apart from any court ordered recovery program the addict is involved in
• Ask for a signed meeting tally slip or sheet
• Tally sheets are available from outside meetings attended with contact data for the person who chaired the meeting and signed the tally.You can also design your own by computer or hand drawn lined sheet with columns headed: Meeting name, place, time / chairperson / chairperson’s contact # to verify attendance of addict / topic / chairperson’s signature.
• Take time to call and check if addict did attend the meeting. MEETING MAKERS MAKE IT!They can learn that there is a better way to live and find the solutions.Demand that they attend!
   
  The above listed items are not meant to be a conclusive list.  Rather it is to indicate that as the head(s) of a household you must be the ALPHA or person(s) in charge (the addicted is not to be in charge.  Home is not a Crack house!).  Love is important - but for one to live in your home is a privilege.  You must maintain dignity and control by consistency, dependability and firmness. 

In an extreme situation such as lack of compliance, it may be necessary to act boldly in stating that the addict must separate from the home until and unless established conditions are met.  (The City Missions supply a bed and 3 meals a day to the homeless and time to think.) If there is not a city Mission where you reside, locate the nearest one and drop your addict off at one.  If this is too hard for the head of family, solicit help from an authoritative figure in the community.
Dear Parent Figure: Two critically important goals are apparent:

1. The dignity of the house setting must be maintained.
2. Assistance in addict recovery to the extent as you are capable by displaying a proper home relationship.

Special request: Hi to all My Most Treasured Readers, from Cindy Lizard.
Please help me compile a page of your own ‘Beta Tested’ methods (That means tried and proven to work for you) of house rules you have used in your home environment.  We hope you will share a household regulation that has assisted you in keeping home free of mental and emotional: clutter, chaos, fear and manipulation. Please be a pal, click ‘Meet the Author’ and share these valuable findings with us.  I will compile them and post in the future. Many will appreciate you taking time to do this.
Example: One father has the rule that everyone places their cell phone on top of the refrigerator before each family meal.  His other rule is that the first family member to pull out a cell phone or device during a meal out (from hamburger to pizza to full course meal) will need to find a way to pay for that family meal.
Insert from Cindy Lizard:  I highly suggest a change of cell phone (not expensive, just a different cell phone from before) for those in addiction recovery.  This is to be a different cell phone with absolutely no old phone contacts!  And there are amazing cell phone recovery tools through podcasts, readings and You Tube videos that are all related to addiction recovery.  I, the writer, stayed clean and sober over 2 years in a 3rd world country, while living in a house full of alcohol and mediations, by listening to XA-Speakers.org.  I, the writer, am the hostess of an addiction recovery tip podcast now. Cell phones are to be tools for good.  However they are also being used to find the next fix. Learn to monitor your addict’s cell phone and DO IT.  If you do not understand these devices, solicit help from an authoritative figure in the community.
Looking forward to hearing your systems of keeping home a home with a person in recovery aboard ship.  Please click “Meet the Author” to submit your ideas so Cindy Lizard can share them to the Cindy lizard Gang. (Anonymously, of course)
Cindy O. (also known as Cindy Lizard)